A short "fruitful" life.

Since the theme of death has become so ubiquitous in the Lebanese landscape, it was only normal it would trickle down to advertising. This time the victim - pardon the pun - is "Pampa Vitaplus" a juice brand which has launched a version enriched in 7 vitamins and headlined it with "Some fruits won't be able to cope with the news". The several executions showed different fruits trying to commit suicide - including a kitsch TVC shot in the 70s way about an orange trying to throw itself from the top of a modernist building (Which actually is the ministry of electricity - well, other people have tried the same thing due to the very steep price of the wattage (the most expensive in the region) but that's another story).

Que les anciens morts fassent place aux nouveaux morts

"Que les anciens morts fassent place aux nouveaux morts" (May the old dead make way for the newer ones), is the name of a short story by Milan Kundera (Not sure but most likely from "Risible loves"), and is exactly the way I would summarize this frenzy of celebrating the dead that's been sweeping Lebanon since 2005. Political figures get confused with warlords and with youngsters dying on the road.... The amalgam is sadly "risible" (to use Kundera's qualifier), and it was no more apparent than when slain minister Pierre Gemayel was shot to death. Overnight, the billboards that were hanged to celebrate the other "martyrs" (And what is called the living martyrs, ie those whose lives were targetted but did not die - namely TV personality May Chidiac, Minister Marwan Hamade, and Minister Elias Murr), were plastered with photos of Gemayel eclipsing thus their death.

But lately, three commemorations caught my attention, they were so low key and almost one offs (Only the first photo from top did I see it two places) that they seemed almost appologetic that their own "dead" was competing with more prominent figures. The two images below, evidently amateurish photocopies of some home photos, as well as the one on top, celebrate the passing of - respectively - an officer and a first adjunct in the army who died while combatting Moslem extremist "Fatah Al Islam" in the North of Lebanon. But it is the humility of the execution and the limitation in the distribution of the "relic" that struck me - there were no militants of a political party to plaster faces all over town, there were no megabudgets to take every billboard on the road, rather, it was a private celebration of an army man who died defending his land.

As I saw these personal celebrations, I could not but remember the "hymn of the martyr" which we learned while being trained as military officers, of the beautiful hymn the words "they have died, so that we may live; and they have did their duty, so that we may prevail."

And prevail we shall.

He who sees us with one eye...

Lately, I was craving for a good steak and mashed potatoes and so I went to Roadster diner next to Sagesse school in Achrafieh. The meal was good, and feeling a bit of an indulegence, I asked my waiter for the dessert menu. I eventually chose the "Marbled mud pie" - which is described as some sort of ice cake with chocolate and caramel syrup. It was easily one of the best desserts in town and the waiter spared no effort in topping it generously with the syrups. Not wanting to linger too much, I asked for my check. As I opened it, I read the following: Date Sept 06,07 Time: 9:36 Terminal 10 0544201 Outlet # 054402 Purchase Visa Exp: 10/08 Amount LBP23500 Tip Total I accept the transaction Signature: Thank you Cardholder copy So, what's wrong with this bill? What's wrong is that only the soft drinks and the steak dish were included. As I sat on the bar, I gently called the waiter again reminding him of the omission of the tasty mud pie. Being a bartender who doubled as a waiter, he immediately went to the end of the bar, talked to the manager who was behind the main cash register, and less than 10 seconds later he was back. As I opened the leather check holder, I realized the bill has not changed, it was still, 23,500. Viewing my puzzlement, he said "Well, the mud pie is on the house. Thank you for reminding us of its omission." And so I remembered the Lebanese proverb that went: He who sees us with one eye, we see him with both (Meaning, if anyone is good to us, we are good to him twice as much).

Deliver - us from evil

Narguile - or hubbly bubbly - is the most flourishing smoking trend in the Middle East. Basically dead as a social has-been and confined to boring elders, it has wintnessed a revival only matched by the Adidas resurrection as uber-cool. But the problem is, whereas naguile gives you cancer, Adidas doesn't. But so widespread is its use among the youth, the middle-aged and the seniors that no going-out is now forseeable if there's no narguile on the table. It has invaded all social classes and age groups, in private and public settings, that there's now numerous shops all round Beirut who deliver narguile to your house. One can see barely adolescent boys driving scooters and holding a narguile in one hand or - worse - holding a bucket full of flaming charcoals (That are used on top to light it) on their way to a client. The above two pictures show one such "delivery" place and an internet cafe offering one hour free internet with every narguile.