Monday, June 30, 2014

Survivor: Beirut (applications now accepted)

Written originally in 2006 and published in "Getting the News from Poems", these are the rules of Survivor: Beirut as based on the ABC application.

Survivor: Beirut (Based on the real application form for Survivor as downloaded from the ABC website)
So you've seen the show and lived it between 1975 and 1990 and now want to know how to become a part of SURVIVOR Beirut II. Here is a breakdown of the selection process:
1. If you have previously applied for SURVIVOR and you were a finalist in the civil war, please do not reapply. Unless you specifically notify us in writing that we should not consider your prior application (and therefore survival) and submission in connection with an upcoming SURVIVOR, we will be reviewing your previously submitted applications and videotape submissions for SURVIVOR. We will not consider any new application or submission you may submit. Second, if you have previously applied for SURVIVOR and you were not a finalist in Beirut I, feel free to reapply if you wish because we will not be considering your previously submitted applications and videotape submissions for upcoming SURVIVORs (Considering you will survive Beirut II that is).
2. Written application forms are available for downloading on this website. These forms along with the video submission must be received at the SURVIVOR mailbox no later than Friday, June 16, 2006, at 5:00 p.m. Pacific Standard Time. Protagonists reserve the right, in their discretion, to extend the deadline as appropriate.
3. A total of approximately 3,826,018 applicants (Approximate number of Lebanese people) will be invited to interview sometime in late July – early August 2006 (Depending on the availability of shelters, or the length of the combat sessions, in case of death we shall not be held liable to any compensation) in person. Protagonists reserve the right to change the number or the identity of the foregoing locations at any time. All travel expenses for the interview will be the applicants’ sole expense.
4. Approximately 48 semi-finalists (the final number of which will be determined by luck, fate, God or a combination of them) will be invited to Bierut in September 2006 (or as otherwise scheduled by a combination of Hizbollah, Israeli forces, United Nations, United States, European Union countries, and ceasefire) for final interviews with the SURVIVOR protagonists. Roundtrip economy air travel between the Rafic Hariri Beirut International Airport and your local air raided airport and lodging will be provided by the protagonists (In case the runways are still not working, it is advisable to listen to the flight attendant’s safety instructions, specifically the part about the inflatable yellow vests due to proximity to the sea).
5. The finalists (the final number of which will be determined by again, luck, fate, God or any combination of them) will be selected as contestants to participate in this SURVIVOR Beirut II program. Filming is presently scheduled to occur sometime between late-October and December 2006 (or as otherwise scheduled by the different combinations afore mentioned) at a remote location to be announced (Well, scouting is still underway in the southern suburbs to find a pile of rubble that would be aesthetic enough to sustain the several days of shooting).
6. All decisions made by the protagonists are final and not subject to review or appeal.
So now you're probably wondering what kind of person is eligible to be selected for this once in a lifetime opportunity. Here are the guidelines:
● Employees, officers, directors and agents of the protagonists and/or of any of their respective licensees, assigns, parents, affiliated and subsidiary companies and the immediate family (spouse, mother, father, sister, brother, daughter or son, regardless of where they live) or members of their same households (whether related or not) of such employees, officers, directors and agents are not eligible to be contestants on SURVIVOR or participate in this application process.
● All contestants must be 1 day or older at the time of application.
● All contestants must be Lebanese citizens and be living in Lebanon.
● All contestants should not be in excellent physical and in poor mental health.
● All applicants must authorize Protagonists to conduct a background check.
● All semi-finalists will be required to complete and timely return the Medical History Form (to be furnished to the selected applicants).
● All semi-finalists must undertake physical and psychological examinations and testing (to be conducted in Beirut by medical personnel selected by the Protagonists) and meet all physical and psychological requirements that certify them as nuts.
● To receive an invitation to be a semi-finalist, each applicant must complete and timely return the Applicant Agreement Package (to be furnished to the selected applicants).
● All semi-finalists must have a valid Lebanese passport.
● Applicants who are selected as contestants cannot be candidates for public office until after the initial broadcast of all programs in which they appear.
Beyond these basic qualifications and any additional qualifications set forth in the Contestant Application, we are looking for a diverse group of men and women who represent a broad cross-section of Lebanese society. Our competitors will be in debatable physical health. Building shelter and finding food will be much more taxing than a trip to your local hardware store or supermarket. Our competitors will also need to be in arguable mental health so that they will be able to cope with the extreme change in environment and the tension of the competition.
Contestants will be selected based upon having the following traits:
● Strong-willed
● Outgoing
● Adventurous
● Physically and mentally inadept
● Adaptable to new environments (Especially able to cope with immediate migration)
● Interesting lifestyles, backgrounds and personalities (Borderline disorders especially encouraged)
The prize for this competition is your life but this prize money will not come easily. Our competitors must be willing to commit to traveling and living in a remote location for approximately seven weeks. Contestants will be filmed up to 24 hours a day by television camera crews to be broadcast on national television. This is reality television. They will actually be living in a remote location, and they will actually be responsible for building their own shelter and finding their own food.
If you are serious about this opportunity and are willing to accept this commitment, please click below to access the application form and answers to frequently asked questions.

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