Takaya Todoroki vs Ralph Debbas

Images: W Motors via various websites

And so the wet dreams of every little boy who saw "Al ja2iza el kobra" as a child have been realized.
What do you mean you don't know what "Al ja2iza el kobra" is?

This is the series that made Takaya Todoroki a household name in the Middle East - he was like Grendizer, only he was human - And yes, for your info, Beirut/NTSC did a take on this as well as part of an art project about collective memory (and personal remembrances) - look closely and you will see NTSC written within the Japanese logo of the series.

OK so here's the story:
W Motors a Dubai-based start up is launching the Middle East's first supercar (do we even have a normal car to begin with?) called Lykan Hypersport  which is the brainchild of designer/entrepreneur Ralph Debbas. I am sparing you the technical details (the car looks like a cross over between a Lamborghini and a Ferrari), but hear this: "the headlights will feature diamond-encrusted LEDs, while the hood will be gold-plated – the perfect complement to the rest of the car’s lightweight construction."
Did you read well? Diamond-encrusted headlights and gold plated hood. That's some serious bling - and some very serious damage in case you do a collision! From the photo above, you will notice you even have choices in the color of the diamonds in question.
Now, the car comes at the bargain price of 3,4 Million USD but sadly the price does not include a matching diamond necklace for the lady sitting next to you.

Houroub saghira (after Maroun Baghdadi) حروب صغيرة

And so I found the Playart diecast military vehicles which were mine when I was a kid online (they were a Christmas present from an uncle). I revisited all the wars they were through, personal wars and those endured by Lebanon. Little struggles which may or may not be insignificant. It all reminded me of Maroun Baghdadi's film "Houroub Saghira" (little wars) - it is ironic that Baghdadi survived the war but still died in Lebanon because the elevator came up to his floor in Beirut and as he stepped in the box was not there.

Min al hobb ma katal من الحب ما قتل

An anti-domestic violence video, whereas not officially endorsed, it is dedicated to the Nasawiya feminist collective.

Buzz: Nothing should stand in the way of a good theft

Research credit: Fady C./Miled I.

"Nothing should stand int he way of a good time" says the ads of Buzz on youtube, yes, not even ethical considerations and stealing. Mabrouk!

This just in from Nathalie Masri one of the co-creators of the Buzz campaign. I am publishing it out of fairness and even-handedness and her natural right to reply:

My name is Nathalie Masri and I am the freelance creative behind for Buzz campaigns. Although, the work is a result of a group effort of highly skilled people, the concept responsibility lies with me and this is why I am contacting you directly in the hopes that you'll share my message:
Today, the Mello Yello ad was brought to my attention. I was as shocked as all of you to see it, especially as it was the first time I come across it. It also seriously disturbed me as I value creativity and originality above all else. I unfortunately cannot think of a way of proving it was not copied and that it is a matter of creative coincidence.
That being said, I do believe the Buzz campaign's success is not linked to the classic "wrong, wrong, right" format, nor to one classic "international" scenario between a couple at a pub, but because of the relevance of the lebanese insights that made the whole campaign.

DeLonghi(ing for rain)

Research credit: Miled I.

Yes, this is indeed a good one from DeLonghi pointing out to the harmful effects of humidity and therefore selling the dehumidifiers. Whereas I like enough, I think it has been done better in the past.... I am not saying the DeLonghi ad is stolen, just that... Judge for yourself:

That's one positive effect of humidity DeLonghi did not think of before..... Guys, let's do "salat el istiska2" as they do it in KSA (Saudi Arabia) when the season has been too hot ("salat al istiska2" literally means "rain prayer").

It's in the (blue) blood

The stuff the legends are made of, the testosterone fuel of every man's imagination, the reason why so many men go to the armed forces (heck, they drive those!).... Land Rover and Range Rover. Sure, it's easy to resort to the heritage card, it's even a bit cliche, and by God we all know that the two "offspring" (the whole campaign is titled "like father like sons") are more made to occupy parking spaces in upscale malls as opposed to off-roading in the sahara or the Camel Trophy or whatever. But the campaign holds tight "It's in the blood". And royalty's blood is blue.

2013: Continuity in mediocrity

It is comforting to know that as the year changes, the campaigns are just as silly as ever. At least there's continuity in mediocrity.

 Commemoration season goes into full swing, it always starts with Elie Hobeika though. Normally such events are used as political platforms - with our elections coming up in 2013, except a lot of those (in quantity rather than quality of the message).

 "Haven't you learned? Drugs are suicide" - it is to note that such horrible ads have also been known to cause people to take away their lives.... Atrocious!

 If anyone can interpret this for me, I'd be grateful. "May every year finds you in good health" - a typical Lebanese greeting (actually there is a play on words between "salim" - whole or complete or healthy - and "salem" - which means intact. Don't know if it is intentional or not). So anyhow, the snowman (or woman? as it has dangling earrings) is supposed to... What? Last all year because of powdered milk?

 I hesitate to write this but shouldn't the headline be "when you need it THE most"? Up to my knowledge, "when you need it most" is incorrect, but I stand to be corrected gladly. Not that the ad is any good.

 Is there no end to silly headlines? Well on one bridge in Beirut someone wrote in graffiti "spray it loud" - which I think is genius!!!! But "sale it loud" doesn't work. One works, one doesn't.... But then, Clementine ought to get themselves a copywriter. And an art director. And a creative director...

The Spinney's supermarket "hot"line can only be touched with an oven mitten. Too silly to even say anything!

Beirut/NTSC wallpaper on Kalimat magaazine

Following a recent call for artists from Kalimat magazine, please feel free to download Beirut/NTSC original wallpapers from the following link. It's compatible with the following formats: 1280x800, 1440x900, 1680x1050, 1920x1200, 2560x1440, iPhone, iPhone5, and iPad.

Shouf shouf (mountains) habibi...

Photo credit here
"The drone wars seem pointless yet unstoppable. Their appeal to western leaders lies partly in their sheer novelty, partly in the hope they may make defeat less awful. They are like the USS New Jersey's shelling of Lebanon's Chouf mountains in 1984, a blood-thirsty display to cover withdrawal. The drone is not an aid to victory, but it eases the defeat its use has made more likely." Simon Jenkins - The Guardian
PS: As always, some pop culture knowledge. In 1984, Pierre Sadek - who was at this best then - did a caricature describing the USS New Jersey destroyer as "New Jera" ("Jersa" is a form of public humiliation).

The Beirut weather report - from the archives

Photo credit here
A raging storm is wrecking havoc in Beirut these days, Beirut/NTSC even the archive lover and differ has unearthed these photos for your viewing pleasure from various sources over the net. These photos (at least the upper three) go back to 1963, the fourth is undated. But at least these bring a smile to our faces (note that the "elders" still speak of the winter of '54 when snow hit the beach and in April no less - probably this is the origin of the expression: "you can ski and swim in the same day" - and the same place!)

Deyem deyem - epiphany traditions

Do you still practice those traditions? On the night of January 5th-6th which is known as epiphany or where Jesus got baptized in the river of Jordan, it is a tradition in Lebanese Christian houses to put some dough outside the house without yeast it in and a bottle of water. The story has it that Jesus passes by the houses fermenting the dough and blessing the water. The usual greeting the next day is "el deyem deyem" - the everlasting is everlasting. Famed Lebanese author Maroun Abboud has a very known story about this. So for today, "el deyem deyem".

Pepsi: the choice of a new aberration

So SMLC (who? Societe Moderne Libanaise pour le Commerce SAL) is now 60 years old. And unlike Spinney's which has an age problem (11 going on 64), these guys really did start in 1952. In case you never heard of them they're the people and bottle Pepsi for you - and who sold 34.5% of their shares to Pepsico in 2001 while retaining the other stakes with the Assaf family who founded the company. Which bring us to today - Pepsi celebrating 60 years in the Lebanese market. The line is "el 3omr kello" or "with full life ahead" something Lebanese use as a congratulation during anniversaries. The visual is the sign 60 (with the zero made from the Pepsi logo) with what looks like the Lebanese landmarks (the Cedar, the Baalbeck temples, the Saida Crusader castle, etc...) made from... Is this PET? It looks as if they were done from the same clear plastic material which is used in the Pepsi bottles. Or it could be a lighter shade of blue, or... PET? (How come I cannot shake that feeling).
The campaign is nauseatingly everywhere (whereas I must admit it looks nice on cans - I only saw the cedar but there could be other variations), and frankly I simply don't hook or correlate to it. So, what could they have done? Elementary!
Just browse on the webste of SMLC and you will find... these!

Aren't they beautiful? Real, authentic pictures that show how much Pepsi is part of the Lebanese social fabric since... errr, 1952? Even my own family albums are cluttered with Pepsi bottles as they are (or perhaps were since we seem to have switched to Coca-Cola) a ubiquitous part of any celebration. For once, such an trip down emotional lane would have been appropriate - not the least of which it's because it was genuine and true.

Why I am a failure.

Detail from "Meeting at the Alcoholics Anonymous bar in Corfu" by Tarek Joseph Chemaly (Mixed media collage, 2002-3)

If success is hard to define, failure isn’t. And I am at that point of life and time whereby I go back and assess what I have done throughout my life. By today’s standards, I am a big failure.
Well, if you start by counting my facebook friends, I shall spare you the effort – I am not even there! Yes, I am one of those genetic mutations who do not have a profile on the social network. If am on google plus, that’s because I have a gmail account and apparently you automatically qualify for one of those – to date 47 people have me in their circles, I have none. Not out of snobbishness, just that simply I have no clue what to tell them on gmail which I don’t on this blog, or through my email, or – to the very few I added on the chat system – through google talk. So viewed in terms of google plus users, I am really not that hot of a commodity either.
I guess this basically makes me fall back on my twitter followers… Ooops! I am not on twitter either and by Jove, I am missing out on all the fun, the meetings coordinated over that medium, the rants about the traffic jams, secret Santas or that one guy who gets on my nerve with his Dr. Phil advices dipped in Steven Covey sauce – apparently he equates tweeting anything that comes to mind with being a professional online communicator. But hey, he has – wait – like a thousand followers! That’s one thousand more than I have (it seems Steven Covey sauce is quite popular there).
Now, let’s have a look at my career – so far I slammed the door of one big shot ministry (yes, I was a high ranking bureaucrat), several companies, half-a-dozen consulting bureaus, numerous publications, two universities, etc… - which brings us to today. A man with two decades of experience behind him, but who – technically – is unemployed. Not good as a measuring rod for success, is it?
One of the ubiquitous ways – across cultures, but specifically in Lebanon – is to measure the success of the man by the size of his… car (what else did you think?). So my car is size 39-40 depending on the brand, usually bought from upscale stores (one of the few concessions to luxury in my wardrobe because I walk all day long as might as well do that in comfort – if not in style as well). In case you did not get the implication, I do not own a car – my sold my BMW in 2001. Guilty, yes, it was a BMW and I was a “wazwaz”. So again, judging by the size of my car, I am afraid I am found wanting.
This I guess, leads us to the other proxy – if not the size of the car, well, it has to be the size of the brood. So, how many children do I have and how many souls can I sustain financially? Maybe I should simply say it outright – I still live at home and with my mother no less. What a fiasco….
But of course, if I don't have a family, then I must an extended circle of friends with whom I go out and about every night. Case in point, this new year's eve: I remained in my pyjamas, browsing the net, with the central heating on - and I even declined to see any of the people offering their prophecies for the year to come. But before you start lamenting, you must know that I wear American Eagle pyjama bottoms and a Fruit of the Loom top - in other words I was quite comfy (can anyone of you pretend that on New Year's Eve?).
However, it might a delight for you to know that my phone kept ringing throughout the holiday period - since the deadline for presenting the final project was January 2nd, my students were freaking out and calling repeatedly asking about some detail they had forgotten or some simple thing to adjust. And the well-wishers? Well, this year the wheat has been separated from the shaft, so the very few text messages or emails I got warmed me more than the deluge I used to get in the past from people who did not live up to my kindness.
One other criteria for success is having a double passport. Yes, I am aware this gives automatic social privileges (specifically when it comes to complaining when back for brief vacations to Lebanon), however – I only have one passport (and to be honest it has not been put to a lot of use as of late). Forget the frequent coming and going of my early career, the older I get the more grounded I have become. So, passport wise, there isn’t much to brag about either.
So what we covered so far? Social media – check, career – check, personal life – check, car – check, passport – ditto. So there, everyone is very successful but me.
And yet, as I write this – having failed a long strength on society’s rules of thumb when it comes to success…. “I should be telling this with a sigh, somewhere ages and ages hence, two roads diverged in a yellow wood, and I – I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference” (Robert Frost).

Copyrighting 2013

There's Coca-Cola red, Cadbury purple, T-Mobile Magenta, Post-It canary yellow, and 2013 Beirut/NTSC. I own the year. Now back off. It's mine, all mine!