When all else fails, use breakfast

It's tricky to put a foot in the Lebanese market for some brands. After all, for years now the market has been "taken" - this improves your child's bones, that enhances his mental abilities, whatever increases his creativity, and what not makes him or her more astute.... So with Puck being a newcomer in the market, it has gone so many other brands to beat - direct easy-spread cheeses like Kiri and Picon, and even distant relatives even Poppins corn Flakes - this last one having played the breakfast card previously itself with a previous line "atyab terwi2a" (the most delicious breakfast. So it is not wonder Puck chose that same route in an already saturated market. "A minute-breakfast and you're ready for anything".... Except beating a very stiff competition!

The sugar PLUM fairy visits Beirut

"Moving in circles from one PLUM to another I lose myself again and again and I find myself not very far in a field of PLUMS. Moving myself again and again with a PLUM again and again in another place in another time in the same city but in another street around the corner and I always find myself with a PLUM. How strange and beautiful. I love moving, jumping and bouncing even if to a short distance, a walk or a wink away.  I love moving. What saddens me is leaving the people I love behind so I try to bring everyone I know with me in a drawing, in a story, in a puzzle, in a song, everything does the trick. What do I do with myself now that I am elsewhere? I guess I just have to wait for you to follow me to start another place for us to continue playing. Will you come play with me?"
The above is the parting note of PLUM Kidstore which has move from Saifi Village... I love it, so poetic, melancholic but upbeat, whomever wrote this piece of urban poetry has my deepest respect, and as to the title, it reminded me of late singer Pierre Bachelet's album "Quelque part, c'est toujours ailleurs" (Somewhere, it's always somewhere else).

Politicians use back door (hippies too)

Communication consultants involved with political parties all seem to be using the same strategy: Use the back door. The idea is simple, before mentioning that this year is a year of elections, try to enter the advertising scene by tiptoeing around your image.

Exhibit A your honor: Future Movement. They have the perfect opportunity - the commemoration of Rafik Hariri's death. "The truth was a dream. We will make the dream come true." It's rather corny but then again the occasion was supposed to dwarf the lameness of the ad. It didn't. 

The National Dialogue Party: Who? Yes, it's that thing cut to the height of businessman-cum-politician Fouad Makhzoumi. What does it say? "In Lebanon we are staying. Enough is enough." Their selling line? "Change" (presumably from other parties or candidates). I thought "change" was trademarked by the Free Patriotic Movement.

Free Patriotic Movement: Again, no mention of elections but there is this small thing relating to revealing figures of the amount of theft and corruption related to the current and previous people in power. Current people? As in people currently in the ministries? Doesn't this include the FPM itself? And when one speaks of current (or lack of it) one thinks of Electricity. The son in law of the FPM's boss happens to be in charge of that specific ministry. It doesn't ad up - does it? It is so sensational that the FPM decided to release a full book entitled "The impossible absolution".

The Lebanese Forces: Can you say FPM and not mention Lebanese Forces - their nemesis - within the same break? I didn't so! So here we go. "Generations giving way to generations" - not at the top commandment of course (there the same people have been there for... generations?). So once more - elections? No! It is just a celebration to announce new people entering the party. Presumably people who are young, ultra-right wing and whose Facebook pages are filled with St. Charbel's photos (a popular Maronite saint hailing from Lebanon if you must know).

Nawfal Daou: He's not a political party but hey - the interesting bit about his ad is that he literally asks "Why did you announce your running so early? Because the free man does not wait for a password." A password in political lingo is when some nation in charge of the tutelage of your political career allows you to do something. What's MORE interesting is that the Arabic he picked for "why" is very accent-laden "leich" which is very rooted in Kesserwan (where he is running).

Grand Cinemas: Wait, this is not a political movement, party of person you never heard of. But it is a classic example of how brands in Lebanon associate themselves with political events. "The only seat all Lebanese agree on". No elections there needed it seems - just a good old-fashioned referendum.

The season has been officially opened... From here on expect a lot of politics on a billboard near you. First a drip, then a flood!

The truth is out (again!!!)

This is copied verbatim from last year:
"Well, finally someone had the courage to say it as it is... We all know that during lent  or al siam (the period of fasting which starts today and last until Saturday before Easter) many Christians abstain from eating "red" meat and focus on "white meats" such as fish which is why international chains give us the fish menu - or the ads of it - during this time (this blog has reviewed them so many times that the matter ended up being "fishy") but finally, someone really said things as they are: "Only during lent" goes the Classic Burger Joint. YES, of course! Why suddenly there's a proliferation of ads about fish menus? Because of the above mentioned reason naturally. Somehow everyone is too shy to say it. And even went a bit further than expected visually and inserted the fish symbol as early Christians used to draw it."
It is interesting that whatever I said can be reapplied to this year - same brands, same messages etc (although the McDonald's slogan which used the word "dawbalit" in two meanings - doubled and flunked its class - makes the slogan read "it's so successful it doubled" or "it is so successful it flunked its class" - makes one smile in appreciation) - but also last year "Rio" left me a comment:
"I am tired of hearing people trying to prove that they exist. Christians don't need to prove anything to anyone. No one is blocking their right to exist.
Insecurity comes from within.
I am Christian and proud. I need not prove it to anyone.."
To which I replied:
"In case the aim of this post did not come through, it was NOT about proving that Christians exist (and if you noticed, I slapped Classic Burger Joint on the hand for using the fish in such a blatant way). But for ONCE someone mentioned lent and addressed a clearly defined target audience.... So I am not paranoid either.... And I do not need to prove my existence to anyone either."
So here goes the polemic all over again. As a side note: When was the last time you saw a Ramadan offer not clearly stated as being a Ramadan offer? This does not stop people like me enjoying Ramadan offers of course, nor does it stop a Muslim enjoying a quinoa burger at Classic Burger Joint.

Lebanon state prosecutor orders arrest of Al Watan editor... Not.

Image via: Jad Fahkry

This just in from The Daily Star: "Lebanon’s state prosecutor ordered Tuesday the arrest of individuals behind the distribution of flyers in Beirut carrying a distorted image of Saudi King Abdullah. “Judge Hatem Madi tasked the Criminal Investigations Bureau to launch a probe to determine the identity of the individuals responsible for this act, locate them, arrest them and refer them to the judiciary.”
In a separate move, the judge also ordered the arrest of Al Watan Newspaper caricaturist and editor in chief for the same reasons which prompted him to arrest the people who perpetrated the act above (after all, the act in question came as a retaliation for the Al Watan caricature of Patriarch Bechara Al Rahi).
As you may have guessed the second part of this post is not true, but, question is: Why not? The reasons behind locating, arresting and referring the people responsible for the act to the judiciary, should be exactly the same for having the editor and the caricaturist of Al Watan located, arrested and referred to the judiciary.
The patriarch is an important religious figure (he is the patriach or Antioch and the rest of the Levant) just as the King of Saudi Arabia is (the king of KSA is labelled as the custodian of the two holy mosques)
The patriarch is a political figure and so is the king.
The patriarch is Christian and the king is... not.... So I suppose this is where the comparison stops.
So, let's go back to the right of ridiculing religions. ALL religions! If we play on an even field, maybe there is hope for progress, somewhere, somehow.

Israel - of cross-hairs and propaganda crossroads

Commenting on the image above which was posted on the Instagram account of Israeli Soldier Mor Ostrovski, a spokesman for the IDF (Israeli Defence Forces) said: "are not in accordance with the spirit of the IDF or its values" - this is as close to the "joke of the century" as anyone can get (however, the century is still young, so Israel might actually say dumber things as we go along).
If you remember my earlier post regarding Lt. Sacha Dratwa - combined with this blunder - this gives a whole new meaning of the word "denial" (which is starting to become a river in Egypt as the joke goes!). Isn't it interesting that a nation based on propaganda is ending up in cross-hairs (and crossroads) because of bad use of said propaganda?

Arab(B)Ad man of the year: Tarek Chemaly

Artwork: Arab(B)Ad man of the year by Tarek Chemaly (my logo with my "trademark" eyeglasses was done by Miled Issa)

It is only belatedly that I knew of Eli Khoury's "man of the year" at ArabAd magazine. Sure, if I congratulated him he wouldn't even know who I am and therefore it would be empty and hollow like that "Lebanese advertising great" - currently a "dormant giant" (i.e. a has-been) - who keeps in his office a photo of himself with a former president of the republic of a European nation. In other words, ask that president who that man next to him is and he most likely will score a blank! So, now that we have established that Eli Khoury doesn't need the credentials of Tarek Chemaly, I still think I should be the "man of the year" for Arab(B)Ad.
To begin with, I think "person of the year" is more appropriate - it implicates this "inferior species" called women who play the incredible role in advertising of selling products to both genders, and who also manage to convince unwilling (but drooling) clients to sign huge bills for un-creative ideas with the use of mini-skirts and cleavages.
So, what have I done to the advertising world? First, I have bashed everyone left and right - I am an equal opportunity basher - no one is safe specifically those who try to bribe me with free hummus dinners (thankfully they have stopped a long time ago). Then there was this small issue of uncovering stolen ads. This did not sit down well with advertising agencies paying their creatives to rummage the internet for long-forgotten stuff only to have someone like me rummage the internet and find them out (with a little help from my friends, I must admit!).
Let me see what else? I basically - through silence and dismissal - stopped reviewing ads which were neither too good or too bad. And I believe nothing can kill an "average" ad faster than ignoring it. I have also reflected long and hard on the state of the industry, I have decoded social, psychological and anthropological messages in advertising, I have taught a new generation of people Mr. Khoury will employ (actually he just employed four of my former students!).
And I have edited and compiled the encyclopedia that has become the ArabAd 25th anniversary issue - making sure some of the gems Mr. Khoury has said throughout the years were there (and for this HE should thank ME!).
The above are just some of the things I have done for the advertising world. Arab(B)Ad owes me big - the least they can do is name me "person of the year". They didn't, so I did it myself. I owe it to myself...

Breaking news: Sorry to interrupt this post as the author is preparing his acceptance speech.

Orientalism redefined: The turkish influences

It is a case of life imitating ads or ads imitating life, with the strong success of Turkish soap operas on television (I have heard some litterati criticizing them, but regardless of their plots, one cannot fault their incredibly well done art direction, coloring, overall coherence and aesthetic beauty), no wonder our advertisers have been getting inspired: Al Soultana al Oum in Almaza refers to the series "Harem el Sultan" and Castania's closed nut says specifically "Al Oushk al mamnou3" (or the fordbidden love, a popular Turkish soap).
It is to note that when Turkish stars are used in ads, they are not referred to by their real name when they sign the ad near the packshot, but rather by the character which brought them to fame (For women: Nour, Lamis, Fatma, and for men: Mohannad). 

Israel's gag orders and the futility of censorship

Image: Sacha Dratwa in what he described as "Obama style"

The above photo, shared by Lt. Sacha Dratwa from the Israeli Defence Forces is a sample of how Israel is scrambling to keep up with the hurdles the new digital age is causing. The man himself, according to the New York Time is "dentified last week by Tablet and Gawker as the man marshaling Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, Flickr and Pinterest to support and celebrate the actions of the Israel Defense Forces." Fair enough, and yet when an image of him was discovered which he has shared under the caption "Obama style".
The reply he issued was beyond the ridiculous for someone who is so new-media savvy. It starts with "There have been attempts to make use of private photos from my Facebook profile in order to publicly misrepresent my opinions." Hello? The man who is in charge of one of the biggest propaganda machines in the world is suddenly claiming that Facebook and new media can "misrepresent [...] opinions". Didn't he build his whole career on taking words and images and actions out of context to put them under different light so as for them to make more sense or less harm to his employers' ghastly agenda? So yes, from this image, we can deduce that Lt. Dratwa is a racist. He can deny it as much as he wants, he can say it has no relevance to the IDF official position and in extenso to the official Israeli position (in this case can anyone explain why the birth rate of the Ethiopian Jewish immigrant community is declining if it was not for a racist policy and a certain shot?)
Not only this, today a major story broke about the censorship bureau in Israel which prevents journalists from discussing certain stories. Realizing the futility of a pact signed between newspapers and the government which dates back to the 50s a judge allowed local media to discuss the issues in question, albeit after 16 hours of silence. The times when people had no access to information is now long gone, of course, what they do with that information and how they interpret it is something else.
This being said, I cannot but mention a man who was tried for treason in Israel (the supposedly biggest democracy in the Middle East), namely Mordechai Vanunu the man who publicly disclosed the existence of the Israeli nuclear programme (please check the Dimona reactor). So next time someone asks you if Iran is going nuclear, tell them it's only fair, after all it only counter-balances the other nuclear nation in the region.
Here's a joke: Why is Israel not signing the nuclear arms proliferation treaty? Because officially it is not a nuclear nation.
In other news: Lt. Dratwa is not racist and pigs can fly.

Abracadeborah and the anti-Valentine magic

Abracadeborah (aka Deborah Phares) offers us the ultimate anti-Valentine song with her own rendition of Nina Simone's "my baby just cares for me" which becomes "my baby doesn't love me"! Funny lyrics, home made video, pop corn not included - enjoy the show.... Enjoy other Abracadeborah hits here while she sings "Ma Jazz Kawlouhou"....

Al watan is a whore lecturing on chastity

Image source: Al Watan newspaper

Remember my post "the right to ridicule religions. All religions."? I still stand by every word in it. But I am officially upset. Upon the visit of Maronite Patriarch Mar Bechara el Rahi to Syria Al Watan newspaper, which hails from the biggest democracy of them all Saudi Arabia, published the above caricature which implies "bachar-a al rahi" as a twist on words on his name as amalgamed with Syrian president Bachar Al Assad, the Patriarch's hat morphs into a missile as well. Sure, I am all for freedom of speech, but hey, let's not let Al Watan be a whore lecturing on chastity, I mean surely, there must be some religious leader worthy of caricature in Saudi Arabia, right? Let them begin with their own turf, one which is filled with corruption, hypocrisy and double standards. 

Exotica - you do the math.

Seeing this Exotica ad I was reminded of the Simon and Garfunkel song "What a wonderful word", specifically the lyrics "Don't know much trigonometry/Don't know much about algebra/I don't know what a slide rule is for/But I do know one and one is two/And if this one could be with you/What a wonderful, wonderful world this would be". And so indeed life could be much brighter if they managed to steer clear of the atrocities they have been subjecting us to. Happy Valentine's day.

Top ELEVEN Lebanese blogs: Drive by shooting in Beirut!

Photo credit: Joseph Alam

I woke up today to fanfare - it seems I have made the Communicate magazine top ten bloggers once more. Which is very nice (even if, being featured without any specific order, having been placed at number 10 is a bit iffy!).. .Still - I don't think the run down was complete. One blog was missing. Beirut Drive By Shooting has not been mentioned - hmmm, could it be it has been shot in a drive by shooting?
Before you say anything, YES, I am aware the blog has not been updated for some time (interestingly, some of the blogs in the top 10 are not very active as of late too), but - since Drive By was a contributor to Communicate having a full page to display materials and comments, wouldn't it have been common courtesy to include the blog with a wink to its author after the departure from the magazine and from frequent blogging due to personal reasons (I am in touch with the author of the blog, so I know what I am saying).
So today in order not to break the "rule of ten", Beirut/NTSC (and in no specific order) is ready to concede its place in the Communicate Book of Tens to someone more worthy - Beirut Drive By Shooting.

Smooth morning and coffee - Vladimir Kurumilian

Published on Feb 10, 2013
improvised track by vladimir kurumilian
video edited by roy jibrin @royjibrin
directed by George H. Khabbaz @georgeHkhabbaz

On a day like today, rainy, melancholic  first day of lent, is there anything better than "smooth morning and coffee"? Vladimir Kurumilian is talented beyond words, the editing is breathtaking, and the whole direction is nothing short of worthy of REM (yes, Vladimir is worth it too). I am also proud I previously collaborated with Vladimir - which sometimes makes me wonder how the best of upcoming crop would want to work with me when I am already behind the curve!

Origin of the expression "labato el marfa3" لبطو المرفع

Still life a la Libanaise - mixed media collage by Tarek Chemaly - 2002/3

And so this is the last Sunday before lent - or Quinquagesima Sunday (try saying this aloud!) - technically called "el marfa3" in Arabic. Interestingly the expression goes "labato el marfa3" (he got kicked by the Sunday before lent) for any couple (or man) who did not get wed before lent. Because according to church rules there are not religious weddings during lent (and leading up to Easter). Which is why people elope on this specific day! To beat the deadline sort of!

Al mahawir al mou3tada (rites of passage)

Al Mathaf

Galerie Semaan

Mar Mikhael

Ring

I have just created four new works entitled "Al mahawir al mou3tada" (the usual axis - which was the war lingo for the passages between Beirut or in-between Beirut). Namely: Al Mathaf/Galerie Semaan/Mar Mikhael/Ring)

Gelati Cortina original logo

Beirut/NTSC is so pleased to share with you this archaeological advertising news: The original Gelati Cortina has been found, in plain sight, on a refrigerator in a shop in Archrafieh, According to the shop owner, it dates back to "about 35 years" - which is correct if one assesses the typo, the handdrawing and thanks heavens the lack of interference from any machines (Mac was only introduced in 1984). Insert hyperventilation sound effect here....

Michael Wright and Spinney's: It's a Lemon!

Image credit: Charbel Nahas Website (the above has been reposted by Charbel Nahas after major pressure on activist Abir Ghattas to take it off her own website)

This passage is taken from Al Bawaba: "Abraaj Capital, the principal investor in the supermarket retailer Spinneys, decided to let go of Michael Wright, who had served as the company’s CEO in Lebanon and the Middle East. Information indicates that the months-long discussions amongst the board of directors determined that keeping Wright as CEO was harming the company’s interests and reputation.
Sources informed Al-Akhbar that the decision was intended to appear as though it were Wright’s personal choice to retire early. Regardless of outside appearances, the decision to sack Wright is a victory for Spinneys workers who refused to submit to his “hot-tempered” style."
Activist Abir Ghattas, was once more at the center of a pseudo-legal intimidation when she reposted the news that Wright "got resignated" (yes, just like Ghazi Kanaan, the ex-intelligence head of Syria in Lebanon who "got suicided"). After all, it is well known in the corporate world: Once you go over your shelf life (pardon the supermarket pun!) you got tossed like a squeezed lemon.
When the CEO of a supermarket chain mishandles a PR blunder the size that Spinney's got engulfed in, sooner or later, someone is going to pay. And usually it is someone from the top. What can we say? When life hands you lemons, make lemonade - or try to sell lemonade (again, another supermarket pun!).
Interesting, when WV was launching the Beetle in America, they emphasized its shortcomings and headlined with "it's a lemon". It seems the case for Mr. Wright!
As a parting word on this massive PR headache that Wright has caused the company he worked for (enticing some of his loyals among the Spinney's employees to include his own name on the ballots of the workers' union vote for example?) I can only quote the poet Jorge Luis Borges: "With time you figure out that the person who humiliates and despises a human being, sooner or later he/she will suffer the same humiliations or scorns multiplied by two. With time you figure out that to hurry or to force things to happen, will cause that at the end they were not as you expected."

"La historia me absolverá" in German!

La historia me absolverá - history will absolve me said Fidel Castro. The guy above, one Adolf Hitler in case you never heard of him, wrote a book entitled "Mein Kampf" while he was in prison (like Fidel). The rest of the story is too tragic though. But, after the original "Swastika" which was revealed upon destroying a building in Achrafieh, please welcome the second mural dedicated to glorifying the 3rd Reich. A bit discomforting if I may say so!

Ads out and about

 What is it that puts me off in those Pepsi ads? It is the fake understanding of the slice of life? Is it this inability to capture what their audience wants? It is the duplication of a formula which worked wonders in the 70s? "Yallah Now" (yallah, is Arabic for "come, let's go")... Bah! There's really no call for action here.

The Free Patriotic Movement is launching a book "the impossible absolution" - which threatens in Numbers to tell the story of everything that was (most likely) stolen or mismanaged. See this as the first advertising blitz for the parliamentary elections of 2013. Line says "now it's time to ask for the check" - I am taking a rain check this time around!

 Sure, I hated their original campaigns, and not all the visuals of this one work, but the above "some mistakes are too fun to make only once" seems to strike a point. So let's give them a bit of an encouragement.

Total, is managing to give consistently nice ads. This one is about the diesel oil which the ad says "correct diesel" (mazout mazbout) which is very nice and cool looking in Arabic. Actually, I fell in love with the sub-line "from trusted sources" (min masdar mawtouk) which is an expression frequently used by Lebanese media when indicating info from anonymous but reliable sources. I wish that was the headline, so cheeky!

Merry Christmas and happy new year... sort of!

As we enter February, and edge closer to Valentine's day, Beirut is still full of Christmas ads, New Year programs in restaurants, or things referring to the new year as with the above TGIF ad (the Christmas one is by "Rage" but is representative of the ones still there). So what does this say about the state of the market? That it sucks basically! That the rate of booking is so bad, media owners have to keep what has already been booked - even if it goes back to Christmas. "Beirut, we have a problem"

Bey(ru)t byout: A sense of home

Photo credit: Colors Magazine issue 27


You know, lately it seems everyone is agreeing of how bad the country (Lebanon) has become. No safety, no security, no respect for institutions, the army being assaulted by citizens, explosions, attempted murders, and so on and so forth, without even counting corruption or the “traditional” plagues ravaging the country – sporadic electricity, water rationing, clientage (that's the technical word for "wasta"), etc…
Solution? Let’s all immigrate!
As of late most of the conversations which rotated around me were why-not-immigrate-to-another-country or apply-for-immigration-and-get-a-super-salary-abroad…. Not sure why this is getting repetitive, and of course, people telling me this are people who – not only never applied for immigration but never even traveled in their lives.
I have. Traveled that is, not immigrated.
Sure I was already 25 when I first boarded a plane, but I did a lot of homework and caught up with the lost time. Not sure how many times I have travelled, but boy have I done so! Lately I was more grounded I admit, but I did have visas in the past which allowed me to be in the US and in Europe and actually be able to work.
But immigrate I did not. Maybe I am a coward, maybe I am too patriotic for a nation that does exactly give a damn about my patriotism, maybe… I have been through so much while travelling that, facing this on a daily basis as I immigrated was not what I wanted for my life.
Let’s see some of the things I experienced. I got stuck in Stockholm with the equivalent of 6 USD for a whole weekend. Don’t ask me how it happened but it did, so I spent the whole of Saturday comparing prices at fast food chains to see how far ONE Dollar would get me.
Oh yes, when I was in Italy, in Venice no less (I think I am the only human being in the world who got there by mistake), I was heading to a business meeting when a finger touches me from behind, I swiveled to see my worst nightmare: Two men in leather jackets, straight out of a Hollywood mafia casting, menacingly talking to me. Luckily what one of the men said was “sir, you lost your wallet.” Which had slipped from the pocket of my blazer mounted atop of a heap of business documents I was carrying.
Oh, have you tried, for once – to get through Frankfurt airport on time? I know this has to do with travel much more than immigration but transport is one of those things that will freak you out when you travel. Be it trains, planes or automobiles. First of all, no nation in its right mind accepts the Lebanese driving license, so be prepared to do an oral and written exam and to actually pass it. You have to catch trains on time – they don’t wait for you like “bostet el day3a” (the village bus). And yes, no smoking is allowed – something Lebanese tend to do wherever they go in the world.
You also have to adapt to new rules in taxation, in formalities, in car seats. I kid you not, you cannot fix your own car seat to the car yourself in the US, you’d have to go to the police station for that. Listen to this: As we were touring an empty – and I mean EMPTY island in Sweden in a huge Pullman bus, the driver kindly told us, “please keep your seat belts fastened at all times.” I gently pointed out that there was – apart from the howling wind – no breathing soul on the island. The reply came as Scandinavian as it could be “but these are the regulations.”
I am also reminded of the time when, attending a writers’ conference in the US, the 2006 war broke out. There was no way for me to come back home, and so the two weeks of my trip got transformed into two months. But the worst part was the apathy. When I told my fellow conference attendees I was stuck in the US, one of them answered “oh and did you like the reading yesterday?” – fearing he has not heard well, I repeated that there was no way for me to go back home, to which he replied “… but it was Michael Ondaatje!”
One of the people in that same conference simply said “oh let’s just nuke the whole area!”… I kindly suggested that “before nuking the whole area, it would be gentle and thoughtful to take my family out first.”
So yes, the dream of my life is actually to shovel snow from my driveway in Canada. Or even better, to go there and do my “landing” and then come back to Lebanon through the US all while the “immigration counter” is still ticking for me to go back there and eventually get my nationality when the time comes. A Lebanese doctor I know did exactly that, and lately told me “I am a proud Canadian and I am ready to disavow my Lebanese nationality.” Yeah right, getting the Canadian nationality while playing tricks on the system – isn’t that the epitome of Lebanese behavior and mentality? There’s nothing Canadian about that.
Sure, when you apply to a job in the Gulf (Gulf does not mean permanent immigration by the way, it means extra weight for overindulging in cheap food) as a Canadian national, you get double the offer you get as a Lebanese. Why? Because you beat the system by being in Lebanon when you were supposed to be in Canada (shoveling snow from your driveway).
I hear Australia is nice for immigration. A friend of mine did go to Australia and yes, he did get the nationality as well. When one night his neighbours’ house was on fire, the man intrepidly went there and got the two women out. The next morning, when he said good morning to them, the women dutifully ignored him.  Yes, this gives a totally new interpretation of the theme song from "Neighbours" (that's when good neighbours become good friends).
Do not get me wrong, I am not defending Lebanon. We suck here! We’re in bad shape and I am trying to finish this post before a power outage hits (have you even tried uploading anything bigger than a few hundred Kb? Have you been desperate to do a Skype session with a think tank all while praying to the IT God for not letting you down either on power or on connection?)
But then, maybe immigration is not always the solution. I remember an issue of Colors Magazine (as published by the United Colors of Benetton) and which treated the topic of “Home”.  Some of the sentences that stuck to my mind were “home is where you change your clothes between parties”, or “home is where my mother is”… Whatever your notion of home is, whatever you feel is where you belong (and for a while because of some odd circumstances, home for me was my gmail inbox!), even it is just a "beyt byout" (the make believe game played as children) - just remember the grass is not always greener on the other side.