Lebneniye aw majhoulet el hawiyye - Paula Khabbaz answers "Malhame Che3riye Halal"

Paula Khabbaz, a graduate with a master's degree in advertising has just answered my "Malhame Che3riye Halal" with her own "Lebeniyye aw majhoulet el hawiyye" (Lebanese or with an unknown nationality)... The poem was written in Arabized Latin (internet Arabic that is) and is too long to be translated but I still find it a small jewel so I decided to share it!
Enjoy!


"Jeye ektob kelemten


barki bfech khel2e fiyon

ma3 enno 3al meylten

bokra l nes btensiyon



ba3ref l3alam rasa wen

kelloun beloun bel alwen

yali tsayasit bi hal balad

wel cha3eb byeskot bi 7ejjit ma elo jalad



2al houwi kbir w ma bichere3

w nese enno mbere7 7emel sle7o bel chere3



badi a3ref leh kel wa7ad na22a lon?

khallaytouni endam enni khle2et hon

ma3 enno baladna a7la balad bel kon

l meghtereb bi oul "I love Lebanon"

w yali bel balad biyosrokh "Alla yel3anon"!



l a7zeb l siyesiye hiye asel l chari3a

maba3ref kif mebniye 3a aya enoun aw chari3a

l mouhem tedbok bein mwarni, l senne wel chi3a

w ma tensa l Armani elo sot

ma tjareb t2elo skot

fi kamen lal derze w betle2e lal Roum

3enna techkile ferje absar eza beddoum



7asab chou bi arrero barra

nshala mfakar dawletna 7orra!



tayyeb khalina bala siyesé

bokra bi 7esbouni 3a e7sesé

badi erja3 3al beit

bi alef kheir, sagh salimé

a7san ma yfawtouni bel 7eit

w tesma3 3anni akhbar alimé



bala jmiletoun yemken mout 3al tari2

mech li2anni benteme la fari2 dod fari2

bas tor2atna chi byerfa3 l ras

eza 7ada 7eke bi ouloulo khras

sta7let le2e icherat mnazami metel barra

en sorry hon mech sem3in fiya bel marra



w ma tchoufo 3enna kel joura

kharej tekhdo 7adda soura

saret chi men l touras

metla metel " L RSAS"



euuuhhh...RSAS..RSAS..



ma ma32oul hal 3ibara

ktir mnesta3mela, khsara!

7atta Sukleen le7e2a fadaye7 w 2was

7atta l benzin fi menno 3ade w bala rsas



niyyel l bet2elo rasak tanke

w eza allak chou bek menke?!

ello ma btesma3 akhbar?

walaw mech 3eref chou sar!

ya khaye l tanke 7a2a ghali

3titak ime aktar men 7ali



lech chou imet l ensen?

lmsa2af metel lfelten

eza ma bya3ref flen w flen



re7na addamna 3a wazife

mratabi, khafifi ndife

eltelloun esme Paula Khabbaz

derse ma3i chhede bi emtiyaz

alouli be3tik aya estaz?

lGeneral aw l 7akim?

7ekye ma3 l beik aw lza3im?



fhemet bi hal balad chou imet nafse

faddalet eskot abel ma tel3a nafse

ma starjet es2al 7alé

chou masire bi hek 7alé

ya tara lezim eftekher enni lebneniye

aw l afdal oul enni majhoulit l hawiye ?"

Round up from the streets

So if you thought that the political situation is the only thing developing in Lebanon, well - watch this space. Or better, read it. First BLF continues it series of age-targeted financial products (as if youth needed more financial corruption). The idea is interesting (what's in the box?) but frankly the whole thing is too pixelized it seems he has fake boobs or something!....
Then we continue the yearly commemorations of dead people, this time it is Elie Hobeika - what's interesting is that dead people seem to get younger by the year!... Every year, an older photo is fetched. In addition one of Hobeika's quote about "Christians being from the heritage of this orient and in the heart of its future" which is pretty cool as a statement but is a far cry from Bachir Gemayel's "we are the devils of this orient and its saints, its light and scorching fire." (When it comes to propaganda, the Christian far right were pretty good at slogans!)
Moving on to one one of the stupidest celbrity-poduct associations in ages (yes, even stupider that Neshan and the anti-drug campaign). How can an obese comedian do an ad for a "healthy" dairy product is beyond me! Not only this, with his over-exposure Fadi Raidy (who also, apart from spoiled kid Pippo character shown in the ad, also has Fadia el Cherre2a) has become more famous that the brands he is supposed to promote so much that people say "that ad with Fadi Raidi in it" rather than remember the brand. Oh, and the TVC is even stupider than the billboards!
Then IPT gas station teams up with McDonald's for "a better future" - a better future for whom is not indicated - we suspect that some medical union has seen a drop in patients so they decided it was about time to move in.
However, it was this sign at the Starbucks in Sassine in Achrafieh that got my attention - nothing stupid as "renovating for your convenience" - they went pretty creative and said "We're refreshing your store"... I really like it, someone, somewhere was high on caffeine... And it worked.

Easily the funniest "sale" gimmick!

I thought it was too funny!... What's with Benjamin Franklin sweating it out... All this comes from Abi Khalil store for carpets and wallpaper right on the highway!

God is dead - now confirmed from two seperate sources.

As in the best journalistic practices, two seperate sources are needed for the confirmation of an event. And now, ladies and gentlemen, we have it! So it is not just Friedrich Nietzsche (the German philospher) who said "God is dead" but also our ex-Prime Minister Saad Hariri (today his candidature was endorsed by the Sunnite Muftis obviously in disregard to Hariri's own religious views). In case you think I am inventing, please go back to his latest speech when he literally says "wa Allah howa shahid" - which means "And God is a martyr", and martyrs as far as I know are dead people! Ok, so perhaps he meant to say "wa Allah howa shaded" which means "and God is my witness" but we all know that lapsuses are the key to anyone's real thoughts!... So there, God is indeed dead - and it has been confirmed!...

Who will you choose (between two evils)?

Photo credit: Miled Issa
Frankly, I thought it was the same campaign. But Miled poited out that
these are two simultanuous yet similar campaigns for the new cell
service (offered by both providers) to get a discount on calling
someone chronically. I said it in the past and say it again: Great
minds think alike... and fools seldom differ!

Malhame Che3riye Halal/Space Bloodissey/Iliad'quoi en parler - Triple release from 7Upstairs Publishing

So what is it like to live in today's Lebanon? For those who are here and those who are abroad 7Upstairs Publishing is proud to bring you the new video from Beirut/NTSC - an epic Arabic poem entitled "Malhame Che3riye Halal" (the wordplay is too difficult to explain) but for those of you who are Arabic-challenged, the poem has been transposed into both English (as Space Bloodissey") and in French as (Iliad'quoi en parler) as subtitles.
The movie is made from 1,344 handmade frames (by me, who else?) and has been edited by Fayad Saab. I am thankful for Crystel Sanane who did my two portraits (as well as the male/female robots)... Please spread this effort as far and wide as possible, as once more, it has been self-financed only to be put for free on the internet....
Hope you enjoy!

Could it be I am falling in love? Again?

So finally Exotica seems to be back on track with a smart ad.... This time they dropped the stupid models, and the utterly silly copy. Now it takes guts for a copywriter to abandon copy, but then the award winning ad for BMW Z4 has already set a precedent when the copywriter did nothing but replace his text with exlamation marks... Still, whether this has been an inspiration to Leo Burnett or not, it is a nice change to see a poetic ad in which I think the number of roses is equivalent to saying "I Love You"  and which - damn me - does not have some pointless viral campaign to go along with... But watch out, a one-off does not mean that the future is on a bed of roses (pardon the pun)....

Charles Ayoub's money back guarantee...

You might have already heart of the famous Hariri words caught on tape - what is utterly strange in this is that life is indeed a boomerang. Go back to that episode where Charles Ayoub - owner and publisher of Al Diyar newspaper - headlined with a piece "Charbel Khalil el Khara" (Literally, Charbel Khalil the shit - Charbel Khalil being the writer and producer of a comedy and political satire show) and then he goes and puts in a manchette "Aoun's prostitution" (referring to change in General Michel Aoun's positions which according to him were detrimental to the Christians - at the time Aoun sued for libel and won the sum of 50 Million Lebanese Liras in compensation). In the words of Saad Hariri, Ayoub is a "whore", which is perhaps the right time for Ayoub to get back his 50 Million.... Just a suggestion!

USEK - The fall graduates - Hiba Asbahan (Spin Dance School)

 

So here comes the fall graduates of USEK with Hiba Asbahan scoring head of the class for a project she invented from scratch - a dance academy called "Spin" (which signs as "Mark the tempo"). For her visual executions Hiba chose the concept of the whirlwind/Toupie as it means visually both - a movement and a spin. She applied the whole thing supremely to her various executions (latin, salsa, pop, oriental, etc...). Hiba comes with several years of experience in agenices, but alsoo has been known to teach people with disabilities - a perfect package for a newly graduate who is up for grabs. Hint: To bypass contacting me for recruiting her, try talking to her immediately on hiba_asbahan@hotmail.com

Just because hard sell does not equal silly!

Fadi Chahine

Anna-Mary Khoueiry

Pamel Nacouzi

 Reem el Assal

Alexandre Maalouf

Unfortunately you shall not be seeing these ads anywhere on the road any time soon - they are just a project for the 5th yearers at the USEK university. We simply intended to prove that announcing sales for a big supermarket (TSC) does not have to be a simply hard sell. Unfortunately, I had so much more to share but it seems that internet is being picky today, so I'll have to settle for those. Fadi Chahine brilliantly played the tune (pun intended) on the cash machine - using the verb "tslaten" (refering both to the state of extasy in music and to the name of The Sultan Center - TSC), Anna-Mary Khoueiry brought the concept of "finding whatever you didn't need" since it is the sales (everyone would be buying plenty), so here's her model actually buying a male tie - she doesn't need it, but heck, it was on sale!...
Pamela Nacouzi goes Arabic slang with the idea of "whatever's for free, get a lot of it" - so its piggy banks actually multiply. Reem El Assal found the perfect gimmick for someone who just cleared the store on sales - an exhausted car (I am not sure if the photo got uploaded). For Alexendre Maalouf, "being cheap isn't scary" with a robber actually paying for his goods because it is not worth it to steal!...
Sadly, this is but a fraction of the smart ideas I received, a lot more did not get upload due to a bad connection.



Getting high on a low campaign!

I am glad someone else saw the similarity... Nasri has spotted the Lebanese remake of "This is your brain on drugs" - well, the whole idea of comparing the brain to an egg is lame, but add to it the presence of an over-stuffed celebrity makes it worse. Why would I, as a person at risk or as an addict listen to a celebrity called Neshan (Der Haroutounian) lecture me in his pompous accent and his fake concern about avoiding drugs - if I took him seriously then perhaps I am already high on something... Next step: Crack is whack! (Hey, if you did

Kalkitos is back

Easy open aquarium - Mixed media collage (Tarek Chemaly)

It's always summer there - digital collage (Tarek Chemaly)

Still frame from "Space Bloodissey" (Tarek Chemaly)

Sunshine Reggae - Mixed media collage (Tarek Chemaly)

Toy Soldiers - Mixed media collage (Tarek Chemaly)

What is common between the above-posted artworks? Apart from the fact that they are mine and that they span more than a decade of my career, the common link is that they include "Kalkitos" as a central element in their design (I know a place that still sells the original sheets!)... And you know what? Well, Kalkitos is back!... It is now revamped and up for sale again in new designs, for anyone from my generation this means "hours of fun guaranteed" - to me personaly it means dozens of artworks in the making... Check http://www.kalkitos.sg/ for the goodies!

Not all martyrs are created equal.

Photo credit unknown
Lately, I have come to think of the young Tunisian man Mohamed Bouazizi who died after protesting against unemployment despite him being a university graduate. What has puzzled me the most is the quasi total indifference his death has been met with. He died for a worthy cause, he went all the way to support his beliefs, and yet - no one gave a hoot. Rewind to Neda Agha-Soltan - the Iranian protester whose death has prompted people throughout the world to wear T-shirts, organize demonstrations, change the color of their twitter page, and participate in the media-orchestrated movement.
I am not here either to defend the Tunisian or the Iranian regimes, I am just here to comment about whether the death of a martyr deserves to be highlighted or whether it ends up being just a faceless person who was just fighting for democracy and other ideals - but sadly not in a worthy country of international attention.

Architecture criminals!

Before and after photos of an architectural massacre.
This is a house I have blogged about two years ago. It was purposefully built to hug a tree, the whole balcony was trimmed inside to be able to "wrap around" the pine tree... Now the house is being transformed into a restaurant, and what is the first thing they do? They cut the pine tree and "straighten" the balcony!.... I give up - this world is too idiotic!

Castania does it again!

Photo credit: Geoana Hobeiche
And so Castania does it again!... A wonderful and very smart co-branding of nuts and cola (basically two staple foods from Lebanon)... And the best thing is that it doesn't even looked "forced" - as if the original ad was intended to have a sequel!...

A fudged transposition

Photo credit: Miled Issa
Ah! So neither the transposition, nor the translation, nor the spelling functions - I hope their chairs are at least comfortable to sit on!.... Not that I am buying!

Tongue-in-cheek new year wish!